thing i need to replace for elaina

...while im thinking about it...

1. pitcher
2. baking pan. nice. pyrex
3. body shop electric fume thing

All the reasons I am going to love working my new job...

1. NO. MORE. NIGHTS.
2. I will be in a routine!
3. I can have my WEEKENDS back!
4. No more weird hours.
5. My social life!!!!
6. I can lose weight!
7. Once I get on a workout schedule, I have no excuse to fall off the wagon (i.e. well i only have 10 real hours to sleep, so I best be getting home and not wasting time running in place).
8. I can have so much more variety in my job!
9. I have a REAL job using that degree I got.
10. keeping myself busy and not spending money.
11. the children! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I AM A CASE MANAGER!!!!!

Working and other life...

"Working and other life" is the title of this blog post, but really i just think, "WHAT other life!?"
It really seems like work dominates my life. Especially lately. So many people are taking their vacation time, that means that I will be working a lot more. Good for money I suppose.

But this overnight work is finally starting to get to me. I love my job. I love the kids. I even like the people I work with and the things I do, but my emotional balance and my overall physical health/appearence is just SHIT.

I am always depressed. If I am happy, its usually either overshadowed by depressing thoughts or I have this horrible crash.

I have gotten into fights with Kyle a few weeks in a row. I have cried unexpectedly. I have called my mom and done nothing but complained. I have been so sick with my appearence and weight gain, I don't eat. Until the evening comes around, and I reach a new level of sadness and I just binge.

The fact that I can't just take off totally fucking blows. I have truly grown up and entered the adult world. Tied to a desk. Working for a paycheck. Paying my bills and *trying* and unsuccessfully trying to save money. Throwing my money to that black hole of debt.

Alright. Typing all that out actually made me feel a little better.

Kyle is wonderful. He got me a pretty flower which is sitting in my room on my desk right now. In fact, I am so over emotional right now, I am getting teary eyed about how wonderful it is.

I don't know. I just want to take this case worker job and I just know, deep in my heart, I am not getting it. A supervisor position opened up at Panera and I didn't even KNOW about it till the last day of being posted. I want the TLP to just tell me they can't hire me and I want to go back to Panera. I could make so much more money there actually, working as a supervisor.

Okay. I lied.

I don't really want to work there. I just want a decent schedule.
I suppose I can stick this job out. It will be so good for me in the long run. And I do love it so much. It's just very very hard sometimes.

anyways. i suppose overall this whole week may look up. wednesday is my birthday. I would love to do a 14 mile day float trip, but easier said than done. kyle cant miss school. loren works. tesa works. cassie works. uuuuuhg. hopefully we can get people to show up for drinks later.

anyways, im getting off here for now. im just depressing myself.

conversations

Kat: the birds are starting to wake up
which always makes me feel better
I love it when they are awake and singing
gives me hope

me: lol. kathryn. youve changed

Kat: what?
you're full of shit

me: birds singing?
full of hope?
the fuck you talkin about

Kat: for real, they are
hope for THE END OF MY FUCKING SHIFT

me: ooooh
lol

Kat: is that better?

me: i was thinking hope of a new day
or something

Kat: hell no
i should have clarified

highs and lows

I have been getting these crazy highs and lows a lot. Mostly on the weekend. I think I try to compensate in my mind for working, so anything I like, I take that and times it by 100 and try to go off that while I am literally working 40 hours in 1weekend. But with so much downtime and little time spent around actual people, i just fuss over things, and no matter how I feel right before I get off work, sundays are always this huge disappointment.

does that make sense?

anyways. Friday morning i was told i pretty much have this day job (i really wanted it for so many reasons). i was literally told that. but i still tried not to get excited about it. i was supposed to hear back this weekend about setting up a formal interview... but thats just what it was. a formality. but then. 20 minutes before my shift gets over for the weekend, my boss calls and says they are interviewing a ton more people, and looking for someone with more expierence.

i was so crushed. i literally cried. i shut the door for 10 minutes and collected myself.

i love these kids so much, and maybe its a good thing i am not a case manager? maybe its good i can connect with them on a friend level more than someone policing their every mood.
but that still doesnt really make up for me wanting to learn more, undernstand how things work better, have more responsbility, and WAY more interaction with the kids on a daily basis.

i was excited totally siked for the hours (8-5... thats a real grown up job) but i could totally deal with it.

whatever.

im still giving the interview my best shot. but its hard to walk in, practically knowing you arent what they are looking for. why waste everyones time?

anyways. im super low right now, and its like, i have eaten nothing but shit.

tomorrow (technically today) will be (technically is) a new day. I will not end 23 being down in the dumps. Hello June.

blogosphere

God. The world of blogging is so surreal sometimes. I have a tendency to find a blog, and read from birth to the present day, every single weekend. Its kind of like reading a book except I learn absolutely nothing. But I suppose its like pretty much listening to a person talk about themselves for hours and hours.

Anyways. What blows my mind, is how self-promoting people are with their blogs. I come across a lot of them that have spawned their own book deals from blogs. Whoaza. The idea is crazy... that all it takes is having the right person come across your blog and you could basically expand and edit some things, then make a few thousand (or more?) just by having someone publish it.

Well, I am reading a guy's blog right now and he's really throwing himself into it. I mean, it seems like hes out for a book deal, but rather than getting that he's just gotten a lot of popularity in his hometown. In fact, when you google his first name and profession, its the first thing that pops up. Google finishes typing it for you.

Anyways. Sorry blog. I neglect you. But I don't really care. I figure I write less for self promotion and more for fun. If it seems like I am never updating, just pretend I am out having so much fun I am too busy to update.

Wprlomg on my obama cross stitch. I have about 1/5 of it done? er, maybe 1/6? Its okay. I keep tossing around ideas who I am going to give it too. I actually could keep it for myself, but honestly, I hate the way cross stitching looks. I mean, the subversive style I have done (see picture) is kind of cool I suppose, and I wouldn't mind having one or two in the house (at opposite ends) but for the most part, I think I will be giving away most of my stitching. I'd like to sell it on etsy too. I think if I could stitch all my ideas really fast, then I could get a good foot hold in the market. But I really just am lazy I suppose.

Also. This night job may be coming to a close? My boss is super excited about this case manager position that opened and me applying. She said I would probably get it. I actually didn't want to hear those words, because now, its difficult to not imagine myself doing it. If I don't get it, I may just be crushed. 8am-5pm Monday through Friday. Hows that for grown up? that just means no more long nights of surfing wikipedia and blogger.

Alright. Well back to the cross stitchin. I cant believe how time consuming this is.

i suck:
you know theres a piece of the berlin wall here in springfield
AT JACKIEOS HOUSE

me: really!?
WHOA

i suck: like i lil bitty piece
they sell them in tourist traps in germany

me: hahaha. COOOL
i was gonna look on ebay when i got home

i suck: for a lil bitty piece?

me: no.
a HUGE piece
id like to build a house out of it one day

i suck: awesome

me: thanks.
dont steal that idea tho

i suck: no way!
im going to build a house out of the qreckage of the world trade center
then everyone will say wow kyle youre house is so much more historicly poignant than micheles house

me: that is really sick

i suck: : (
too soon....

me: you build yours out of the reminder of hate. i build mine out of the reminder of freedom
saying "hey remember when the berlin wall fell?" sounds way better than "hey remember when the twin towers fell?"

i suck: does it michelle
you want to forget
you want the terrorists to win
bitch

list making

i am literally MAKING LISTS of places id rather be than here.

so flipping tired.

another uuuuuuuhg

i really cant wait till school is out. i am tired of all my friend being busy and stressed with school, and i cant wait to see my boyfriend whenever i want.

oooooooooookay

okay. so im looking a cakewrecks.blogspot.com and i realize.

life is good.

i had a GREAT time tonight, so i guess i will blog about that.

we went out for kyle's friend's girlfriends birthday. i dont know her that well, and i admit, i wasnt super excited, but i ended up having a blast!!
lots of kyles friends there, and i felt comfortable. especially since we were the first to arrive. usually that would be awkward, but i got to politely chit chat with the hostesses of the event. and then i got the most prime seat for dinner! i didnt feel left out at all like i expected. then i was actually worried about ordering at kai cuz i HATE sushi. but i found a 9 dollar FANTASTIC salad. it was so good, i had coffee afterwards!
Then we went to mudhouse and me and kyle got to chat for a bit, then kyles friend joined and i talked to him for a bit, and then birthday girl then everyone else!

a week ago, i was actually kind of upset, because birthday girl ALWAYS goes out with a bunch of guys when they have guys night according to kyle. i always was a little jealous, and thought she fit in really well. and it was some elaborate scheme to not get michelle to go. arrogant? yes, i know. but tonight, i felt like i related to her better. she didnt have a ton of girls show up and it almost turned into her boyfriends event because most of it was his friends that know her. and just so you know... thats probably how my birthday will be. i dont know. i suddenly felt like i could relate to her.

is this all confusing?

anyways. we went to mudlounge and played apples to apples and i saw a TON of people i knew there and i loved it. havent been out with a huge group in forever, and i cant tell you how comfortable i felt! maybe it was the alcohol everyone else was drinking? very good times.

i have a wonderful caring boyfriend, and i felt a little like a jerk for expecting a horrible time. hes got good friends.

also.

I LOVE FIDGET MY HOG! Hes the best. today he was going a bit crazy crawling in my lap. i love it when hes mad and puffs up. hes not doing it as much, and i am already starting to miss his timid ways! its hard to keep track of him. anyways. im trying not to be a "hedgie owner." they are a bit crazy. but i cant help it. i understand.

anyways. i am going to go to room checks and make something of my life. i feel better.

i talked to kat too for a short while and she made me feel better about my job. its pretty much a sweet setup i have she said. and just cuz its not PERFECT doesnt mean i should give up. i have a lot going for me right now and i should focus on that. plus i have a second job that totally works with me too. made me feel a lot better, knowing that the world wasnt ending and life was still good.

Uhhhhhhhg

I am feeling uber depressed today.

I had an excellent night. And I know I should NOT no matter what, focus on negative things, but just shut up and let me.

A DAY spot opened up at the TLP and i was quick to look up the hours for it.
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday: noon-midnight, thursdays noon-4 or 6ish?

so it was incredibly perfect. i started to get excited.

I would have more youth involvement! And I could feel like I was actually helping and learning, and not just working and tyring to do the right thing by myself, without always doubting myself. i could be trained and really, REALLY learn how to handle situations better. I could feel more at home with other staff and maybe not like the stupid overnight worker who still doesnt know how to do anything and shrinks off at the break of day.

I could have my weekends back! Not just even the nights, but for the first time in my life, THE WHOLE WEEKEND.
I could still go out for an hour to grab a drink!
I could sleep in!
I wouldnt even HAVE to work at panera if I really didnt want too. But i could still!

heres how it works here: seniority.
i have NEVER been in a place where seniority rules. i dont want to call it dumb, because if i could, i would call that at panera sometimes... "im on bakery? hell no. im going to cafe." it just sucks. i really have passion and i wonder if that goes unnoticed. it probably does because no one sees me interact with the kids or can tell how much i really do care. working 18 hours last sunday was WORTH it to me because i was having human contact. i had no problem at all helping people or cooking for them. i will be staying later for sure on sundays.

i dont know. im just depressed. i love this job. i do. i just want to do more.

Lunchtime at the TLP

So I made this Mexican Cheese Soup today. In order to promote CLEANING, team building, and social time in preparation for our state inspections on Tuesday. Its only 1030. People are barely awake yet, but a little part of me was thinking "CRAP. No one is going to eat this 15 dollar pot of soup I just made." Then 2 of my favorite residents were starving and came in wanting a bowl if it was ready. They ate like 4 bowls between them! I was soooo excited! They kept saying how good it was and they were so appreciative.

It feels good to give back in a way that they can see. I hope this makes their days better.

The smell is wafting down the hall. I need to start waking people up and lighting some fires under their butts...

Oh. My. God. Who have I BECOME!?

I just got done reading COSMO. I am truly disgusted.

updating

Well, I am working an insanely long shift today. 15 hours. I almost came in early and made it 16, but was just to lazy to get around soon enough.

Not really a whole lot going on. My computer isnt turning on which su-ucks, so it looks like my paychecks will have to be saving for that. but i guess i can finally get a new computer! Its just to bad I wasnt able to back up all my files first. Also, I guess the Acer Aspire 3935 is getting good reviews. Remember that.

I am on weight watchers. I have attatched a blog for this to my profile. Its boring and more for me and my own sanity. But feel free to take a looksie as i air out all my fat dirty laundry.

Anyways. I guess I will go wander around cyberland some more before I start deep cleaning the entire building.

Sunday Morning

I love Sundays.

And I love that non-stop rain.

A "Fuck-It Bucket" Moment

Are we all familar with Amy Sedaris? Her book I Like You is fantastic and it has this wonderful how-to explaination of a Fuck-it bucket... its basically where you write "FUCK IT" on a bucket and fill it with candy. When you have a bad day, you just say "FUCK IT!" and take some candy out of the bucket.

[Should i make this blog mature content?]

Anyway, i just had a moment of metaphorical candy takin from the bucket.

I have debts to pay. Who cares? I am working to pay them. I should stop beating myself up for getting them. I learned my lesson, I am working to be better financially. So you know what? FUCK IT! I am doing my best and I won't let things like credit card payments get in the way of my fun and happiness anymore. I am going to do what I want!

It feels good to think that bike riding, park goin, picnic havin, and boyfriend kissin arent controlled by the income that comes in! So I am just goin to relax and have all the fun that is out there for me to take!

budgets always SOUND like they work...

Pay day was just a short 14 hours ago and its like, uhhhhh. where did my money go? I like to pay all my bills asap, so i am not sitting on all this money i DONT have.
How the HELL do you guys budget?
By the time I paid my bills I had 150 bucks for 2 weeks which SOUNDS like alot, but you calculate the HEDGEHOG supplies I have to spend, the gas to KC, food to live off of, and packages to send (swap bots are cheap, kat's is not!!!) its pretty much all gone.
UUUUUUUUUHG. A hedgehog probably wasn't a sound financial decision when you get down to it.
The wheel was literally the most expensive thing I bought today. 30 bucks. 30 BUCKS! For a piece of wire holding up a round piece of plastic. So friggin stupid. Plus i HAVE a wheel! Just not the right kind or size.
And whats worse, the wheel doesn't fit in the cage so I guess I need a new cage because you can't not have a wheel. Theres my whole budget for the two weeks blown on Sal.

How do YOU budget money!?


ALSO. did i mention GIRL TALK IS COMING!? TO MSU? 3 BLOCKS AWAY? FOR FREE?!
What. the. Fuuuuuu...k!

alright. thats it for now, till i make edits as usual.

Cant stop staring at my profile picture...

...its just so cute! i feel like it completes me, ya know?

I am in kneeeeeee deeeeeep in swap bot swaps. I have 5 mix cd swaps going with 6 partners.

Heres a list of whats gonna be mixin this weekend:

Best of MIA
Best of Stars
Best of Tilly and the Wall
1985 Birth Year
Play It Loud

The Play it Loud mix I may just hand out my running mix, if I get pressed for time. I was thinking more insturmental, but we will see how pressed for time/detail oriented i become.
The Tilly and the Wall mix is pretty much already mixed. I will just give Idan's Tilly Mix out. I still have it saved I think.
The Stars and MIA mix cds, I just took the top Stars and MIA singles from amazon, peppered with a few other ones not on the top 13. I really have a hard time narrowing these artists down.
The 1985 Mix just gives me excuse to buy an 80s cd and a few songs on Itunes.

Aaaaaaaanyways.

So I was pretty much a cleaning machine yesterday. I did a ton of laundry, put it away, organized my bookcase, desk, shelves, under my bed, vacuumed. Everything. I started cleaning the bathroom. It was so friggin disgusting. Never again. Its so hard living with a hairy boy. I will keep up on that once a week or so.

My hedgehog comes home on Sunday so I made room in my room for him too. I CANT WAIT. I will be cross stitching pictures of sal soon, no doubt. I just can't wait. Its actually making me a little crazy knowing hes gonna be so close all weekend and I have to wait till SUNDAY. I guess its for the best, because I have to buy a TON of supplies and set up his cage.

Got my tax return! Yay! Put it towards a BoA credit card and I feel so good! I have a long way to go, but its so nice seeing that number drop. Almost cut in half. I think once I pay that one off, it will be so less stressful. Uhg. Sorry if I talk about money to much. But who knew that 6 months of friviolous spending could cripple you for so long?

I will scan some cross stitching in the next post. I finished me and Kyle for him. I just am missing 2 stitches for his beautiful eyes. They are technically green, but to me, they are suuuuuuuch a pretty grey color. I love them. Lucky boy. Actually, lucky me, cuz i get to stare into them. Ha. Anyways. they just dont make embroidery floss called "kyles eyes" so I need to make up my mind on the color.
btw. hes reading this now. but i would have wrote that without him creepin.

oh i wanted to mention coming home on monday from work. I had THREE packages waiting for me at the door. A coffee swap, an amazon order, and an etsy order! I got the same brand of coffee from both swap partners. Kind of crazy. But I loved the way the coffee is bagged. Me and Loren split a pot today and it was tasty. It is making me rethink my coffee methods actually. Kyle loved his DVD from amazon and I got Kat a book. And the caged tomato prints are fantastic. 3 packages! It was better than christmas morning. seriously.

i am looking for a tag cloud. i love those things. trying this one out i guess, although i can't see it. i'll see how it works...

>:-P

Man. this sucks. Embroidery thread is seriously like EVERYWHERE when you dont need it. when you do...
NOWHERE.

every craft store in springfield is closed today. ridiculous.

I guess my cool lil minipops will have to wait till tomorrow.
Its okay. I am pretty psyched out of my mind for my little paint creations. I will just look at those more

Scanner!

I just realized we have a scanner at work! So I am figuring out how exactly i can scan things...

Check out my minipop cross stitch pattern of me and kyle for his bday.



!!!!

SO COOL! Now just be prepared for other things to be scanned.

Okay. Here is MY 1st ever finished cross stitch, subversive style.




I like seeing the backs of projects. the messiness behind the pretty. its pretty much my life on the back. I dont like the final products to be messy, but somehow they always are, even if its hidden.

Heres a paint version of me and kyle.



i think i officialy talk to much about this wonderful boy.

Alright. I better clean and do log notes. Only an hour of work left!

ps. I HAVE A PROFILE PICTURE AND I LOVE IT!

Bust... kind of a bust

Well I just read Bust. Not so great. The magazine was so all over the place Really. I was reading porn at one point before realizing it wasnt a girls cute commentary about her cute doctor.



all in all, i would pick this magazine up only if i saw a specific article in it that held my interest. otherwise... eh.

there was one interesting cocktail recipe. taking vodka and infusing it with fruit yourself then mixin a cocktail. i may try it.

oh! and the editor is the stich and bitch girl. crazy.





i could be an editor of a magazine. i think itd be fun.

Cross Stitching!

Wow. Lets just say I am OBSESSED with cross stitching! I finished the "Don't Make Me Cut You" a couple hours ago. After that I spent the next few hours sketching out designs to make Minipops of my friends. I am doing a minipop of me and kyle for his birthday. It shouldn't take very long, and i hope it turns out, although it looks great on paper. Them im gonna frame it and give it to him monday (tomorrow). I also sketched out Jackson, which I may give to him for his bday with the phrase "Gay Baby." I also did Idan, which I think I may make him with the phrase "Haven't Seen It, Not a Fan" or "Lame." or "ew."

I am also going to keep a book, which is starting to fill up already of phrases and more people I want to stitch.

I bought the subversive cross stitch book. I ordered Minipops too for inspiration. I did not get around soon enough to get materials to cross stitch more today. I need lots of colors and its first on my list of To-Do when I get off!

Also on the to-do list eventually: buy lots of frames!!! Funky, old, vintage ones. Steer clear of the modern!

Anyways. I need to send that cut you one in a frame with a gift card for food to my sister for her bday. mom says shes not eating enough. I don't know how a person doesnt eat enough. maybe she can teach me her secrets.

Kyle's bday is so close! I can't wait!!

Also joined a few swaps on swap bot. I have completed 2, although still waiting to recieve, and be ranked. The next two that are up are mix cds! I may cross stitch covers for them since right now, i hate all other things! ;)

Alright! thats it. I am gonna read my new magazines (Bust, Martha, Elle) and clean a bit. See you all again soon! Leave comments if you have ideas for (NOTE! THE FOLLOWING IS VULGAR) vulgar things i can cross stitch! (not that)

Birthday suit.... er... dress.

I know my birthday is 3 months... NO WAIT. 2 months and and 2 weeks away...

Alright. I am starting to freak out slightly about what I will be wearing. It is my gold birthday so I want a gold 80's dress like no other. But I am willing to settle for just a hot little gold dress.

I GOT NUTHIN so far. I am gonna have to be hitting up the thrift stores and a weekly rotation schedule. bleeeeeh. I knew it would come to this.

I have the most insane heartburn. I just started getting heartburn a few months ago. I will be making a list of foods I should never eat and be tagging it. Anyways. CHEESE PIZZA from pizza hut is bad. I wont rule out all pizza. Just one pizza place at a time.

I am working on my subversive cross stitching. Its probably over half done. I just have to finish the border.



Here is what I have done so far...




AWESOME HUH!? I LOVE it and cant believe how far I have come!
Now if I spent all that time actually working on it as i did blogging about it and editting the shit out that picture, then I'd probably be done. But thats not fun!

Alright. Maybe get back to it.

back to normal...

well! i am back to normal. less depressed than my last post for sure. there is a full moon so perhaps that has something to do with it.

kyle was out tonight, with the guys. he hasnt been out with them in forever! i hate to be the kind of girlfriend that bosses her boyfriend around, but i just stepped in and did it. hes so poor with keeping in contact, so i basically hounded him for a week telling him to call his friends, cuz he'd have fun and theres no reason for him not too.
he texted me all night how he loves his "bros" and how tight they were.
he also may have fallen in love with eric because he was telling me how great he was, and if he died, he wanted me to have eric. lol.
thanks kyle. just dont kiss him.

nothing much else going on right now. i had to RUSH ORDER that dr. horrible dvd for kyle cuz i waited till the last minute and i didnt want to make it seem like i forgot his birthday. i thought rush shipping would be reduced if i ordered 25 bucks worth of stuff, but i realized it wasnt until i had ordered stuff. oh well. kathryn got the final touch to her care/christmas/birthday package with Fuck This Book. i ordered the book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Now. I am NOT getting married ANYTIME soon, but I glanced at this book at DeSales, and it looked like an awesome book that can be applied to serious relationships. I care very much for Kyle and I want to succeed, so I thought this book would be good. Although I won't be telling him I ordered it as to avoid the freak out. Although I dont think he would...

hmmmm. what else... I AM TOTALLY BROKE! I dont know how I am ever going to pay off my credit cards anymore. Its like I am constantly dealing with unexpected bills and payments. IT SUCKS. I suppose the 82 dollar etsy order wasnt helping anyone this month. Gah.

well, i guess i will be off to amazonland to see what else i should have bought. i cant wait for my book to come in!

deeeepressed

well this week i worked 31.72 hours at panera and 38 at TLP. geez.
im like super depressed right now and i think its because of the following:

i finally have a moment to breathe and i am just crashing.
i desperately miss my good friend and roomie. her boyfriend has hijacked her and i havent talked to her since he got here back in Feb. i know that once people start dating you dont see them as much, and its normal but its so hard to function without a girlfriend by your side. i miss her a lot and thats all i will say about that.
i am trying to pay off my credit card debt and its like, sit around and just think about money. im trying not to spend anything, so the best thing to do home is not go out into the world, because if i drive down the street i am wasting money on gas and i will probably stop somewhere for food, drink, or something else.

i dont know whats wrong with me. i have been having crazy dreams too. about work and ex boyfriends.

i dont even know what to say except thats it.

i am over the emo post.

Tweeting

I am so addicted to twitter. I love searching for things and finding the common link between people. Like "Jimmy Fallon." oh guess what, everyone misses conan and doesnt like him. I feel bad for him, but aside from that, its soooo mind blowing how twitter can connect soooo many people so far away. so simple. i love it.

why do more of my friends not have this?

twitter.com/mishyfeet

a compiled blog post

I really want a garden.

I have discovered, since moving into a house with Loren, the awesomeness of pitchers. Everytime I whip up a batch of iced tea, its gone within days. It tastes better than our water, and produces less waste than bottled drinks, and is waaaaaaaay cheaper! I need to invest in a suntea pitcher and i will surely keep the lookout for cute ones when i move out in a year and a half.

I tweeted this thought: Everyday I work on the weekend, Alice 95.5 plays the song "Rockefeller Skank" by Fatboy Slim. Remember that one? For some reason, I never get tired of it, and I always feel like my life has meaning. I don't know what it is about that song, but it seems to pep me up when I am getting tired and is just overall really awesome.



another song. the oc's theme... california here i come right back where i started from. i should hate that song. but makes me think of sun and fun. so i do hate to love it.



So i just got done mopping the second floor. i spilled a whole bucket of dirty mop water and now its dripping through the floor. I can hear it.



its nice listening to girl talk while i clean. but it doesnt go as fast because i spend 65% of the time singing and dancing and looking at my reflection. ridiculous.

okay. modern english's song "melt with you." i think its becoming my favorite song of all time. i remember a few months ago i heard it on the radio when i was at panera in the back. it made me smile so much because i just thought of kyle. the song gave me the feelings he does. so anyways. i looked up the lyrics and i love this song even more....
my favorite line: "...dream of better lives the kind which never hate..."
i feel like this would make an excellent tattoo. dont you think so? i love word tattoos.

speaking of 80's bands. i hope i am not working tuesday because we are SO watching Vh1's 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 80's. The ONLY thing bad about this is the host. But I can overlook that. I'd rather have him as a host (Judah Friedlander), rather than his own commentary as one of those comidians. I even hate writing his name. Blech.

i am in desperate need of a really great night out full of lots of cameos and drinks.
im picturing sangria, karaoke, and downtownness.

....i want my weekends back...

alright. this post is long enough.

Caged Tomatos!

I love Carrie over at Caged Tomatos so much its NOT EVEN FUNNY. She's taking the blender print and changing the colors to match the coffee one for Kathryn's kitchen! Can you believe that? HOW PERFECT IS THAT. I also like how Kat knows about this blog but doesnt read anymore it as I gab about all her presents. HA.

etsy love

so i found these prints on etsy awhile ago... they have always been at the back of my mind, but i think i am finally going to get around to buying them. especially since i need to finalize kat's box o' goodies for her care package/christmas gift/birthday gift.

cagedtomato's prints are mind blowingly awesome and i plan to fill my kitchen with them. the only thing is i dont know if i have enough wall space, but i am just going to have to deal with that. I will buy all of them. Kat gets the blender and the coffee one. I will get them framed for her too.

I hope those all showed up. they show up in my browser, but not on my desktop.

anyways. i cant wait for pay day. cagedtomato also does commissions. i am thinking a bowl of fruit, crockpot...A DUTCH OVEN! ahhh. my mind is racing.

anyways. i have to go clean a room in apartment 1 today. so i better stop etsying.

Its Friday....!

Fridays are my favorite nights to work because they are the most laid back. Thursdays are pretty rockin too. And so are Saturdays.

Thursdays are great cuz I spend two hours with another girl. Then curfew comes around an hour later. Then an hour before room checks and before you know, only 8 hours of work left, with intensive cleaning for the weekday work day and at the end of my shift, there are two hours where people are getting up and coming in and out of the office. So thats really no time for boredom.

Fridays are great because I have no big cleaning since I do it all on Thursdays and Saturdays.

Saturdays are great because its the last day of the work week for me! The feeling of coming out on Sunday... ah. I just cant describe the victory.

Anyway! Today is Friday (er... Saturday morning) and I am having the BEST hair day. I threw on the cleanest clothes I own after taking a fast shower and as we were leaving Kyle said I looked cute. I looked in the mirror and sure enough. I look good. Why do such days have to be wasted on working!? I need to be out dancing and partying it up.

Parties. I remember what those used to be like...

St. Louis was fun, thanks for asking. I got out of the city with enough money to buy lunch and ice cream the next day and pay my utilities. That is a good feeling.
We stayed at Kyle's dad's place the first night. It was so awesome! Out in the country. Beauitful of course. We then hung out in Columbia on Monday. Ate at the Main Squeeze which is literally the best place ever. I like knowing that what I am eating isn't killing me.
Monday we drove to StL and slept. The next day we hit up the history museum. Then drove around forever (2 hours) looking for Schlafly Brewing Company. We seriously drove by it 3 times and missed it. So we went home and ate pizza. The next day we found it quicker and shopped on The Loop. The next day we ate a quick breakfast, cleaned the house we stayed at, and headed home! I did not want to come home. I loved every moment.

I presented Kyle with his t-shirt from Schlafly I sneakily purchased for him. He loved it! I love that he loved it!

It was really nice spending so much time with Kyle. We are constantly surrounded by roommates or friends and not that we don't like it, but sometimes its just so wonderful to sit around and watch TV in the evening without feeling any obligation to share the living room or meet friends for drinks.

ALSO! Did anyone know that missouri has a law that you can mix and match 6-packs of beer!? As long as you buy at least 3 you can. I guess all bottles have barcodes on them??? I am going to keep an eye out for this. The guy at Trader Joe's filled us in.

Well. I will surely check back again sometime this evening. I am already bored. And caught up in blogland.

ps. i have the best tweets.
twitter.com/mishyfeet

Only 8.5 more hours...

... and then I won't have to worry about rowdy, angsty teenage boys for another 4 days.

The boys in apartment 4 (next door) are driving me CRAZY. They have been being rowdy and refuse to be quiet. I told them to give up their handcuffs when they "lost" the key and couldnt get them off after they found the key. 10 minutes later they are free and refuse to give them up.

Whatever. I am so over it.

I am not here to baby you. I am not here to be pushed. You can go as far as you want. I am not the punisher. I just write what happens and someone comes in Monday through Friday to take care of that crap.

GAH! I wish I knew what they were doing.

Okay. 45 minutes later and i get back to this blog, and I have a vauge idea of what they are doing. I am pretty sure at one point, one of them was handcuffed to a chair but I have no way of proving it. I think he was bouncing around trying to move.
I went in and was ready to assign them all chores. I am tired and they are being hella annoying. they have 10 minutes to be in their room or they the JOB JAR.

next weekend will not be as fun for them. Guarenteed. I try to be the pretty nice girl that works on the weekends, but Apartment 4 is changing that.

Wow. In less than 12 hours I will be on the road headed towards wonderful Columbia. I cant wait to spend lots of time with kyle and no time dealing with other things like work.

7.5 more hours.

Rain! On a day I am working! Finally!

So VH1 has the 100 greatest 1 hit wonders from the 80s coming up on television.

Also. Its cold and grey and rainy today. PERFECT. I cant wait to go home and snuggle into bed. 3 more hours.Kyle's brother is in town. I declined going out for drinks last night, because I had to work in an hour and a half, and I couldnt drink, and I am scared out of my mind meeting his family. Not his mom. I can get moms to like me. Brothers and fathers. Thats different.

rain rain rain. dont go away. stay stay stay.

i absolutely hate my cell phone. HATE. everytime i silence a phone call my fat fingers hit speaker phone and I accidently pick up. I dont realize it, till after I have breathed my sigh of relief of dodging a phone call I didnt want to take. Usually I hear a loud and confused "Hello??" Blehhh. When this plan is over, there better be nicer phones out on the market. I may even revert back to ATT. God forbid.

OH! And the fact that the text messaging SEND button is write next to the CLEAR button. I cant tell you how many texts I have sent that were meant to be deleted. Even a few down right embaressing ones, all typos aside.

okay. i want a hot chocolate, a heated room, and my bed. and maybe kyle next to me.

mary adams dresses

oh. my. god.

i want one.

Tax time!

So I did my taxes tonight (at work). Its so awesome how I get paid while doing that.
Anyways, I thought the government was gonna be mean to me this year since the TLP didnt take taxes out of my paychecks (only 500 bucks total) and I got a ton of interest on all those bonds I cashed in. But I actually did better than last year. Almost 800 dollars back!
I just need to file it tomorrow after I have ten dollars in my bank account to pay for filing.

Its sad, but all that money is going to my credit cards. So sad. But it will take a huge chunk out of what I owe and allow me to breathe so much easier. No more freaking out about CU bills maxing my card out or paying extra fees.

I guess you could almost say I love tax time. Its actually kind of awesome, because even though they owe you your own money back, it feels like you are just getting money.

I also checked how much I got last year for my stimulus. Kyle though 500 was the norm. Kat got 600. I got 300! I am pretty sure Kat and Kyle are krazy.

Not much else. Me and Kyle are headed to Columbia and St. Louis on Sunday! I can't wait. We are going to visit Kyle's dad, spend the night and eat at the Main Squeeze. Then St. Louis! We are planning brewery tours, maybe a hockey game, city museum and the history muesum. I can't wait! Plus we are staying at Kyles grandparents house since they are in Florida. So we dont have to pay for a room! Awesome! Plus, I still get to work a full schedule next week. No pay cuts! Aside from my Panera check, which I can live without.

Anyways. I am TOTALLY psyched about my tax return! I cant WAIT to write that check and pay off those pesky things! Financial freedom! Sooooon!

Running playlist

So I just got done running outside. I havent run outside in FOREVER. It is incredibly hard compared to that treadmill at the YMCA. Lately I have been running 3.5 miles pretty easily. Today, outside, I was dying before the first one finished. I stopped and walked a few times, but I finally was able to clear 2.5 miles. I call it quits and headed home. Not even amazing music could keep me going.

Speaking of music, here is my playlist I run too:

"Yankee Bayonet" by The Decemberists
"Viva La Vida" by Coldplay
"Disturbia" by Rihana
"Invincible" by Pat Benatar
"Stronger" by Kanye West
"Here It Goes Again" by OK Go
"Maneater" by Nelly Furtado
"Stronger" by Britney Spears
"Fighter" by Christina Aguilera
"Let it Rock" by Kevin Rudolf
"New Soul" by Yael Naim

Bold is a warmup/cool down song (walking)
Italics are a running song.

My muscles are spazzing right now.

Alright. I guess my laundry has piled up so much for so long, I better do it. I literally have nothing to wear except a sweater dress and its much to warm for that.

FOOD!

I am STARVING. I packed boring soup and oatmeal today for lunch/breakfast/dinner.....!? (what do I call it when I eat at 5am but go to sleep at 1pm?)

Before I cook me up a pot of something, I am going to list all the things I would rather be eating right now.

1) Gailey's Downtowner Breakfast
Include 3 eggs, hash browns, biscuits and gravy, and sausage.

2) IMO's pizza
any kind. that melty liquid cheese is the best.

3) Mediterranean Veggie from Panera
I work there 2 days a week. Why the hell do I crave it when I don't get my discount?

4) WF Cody's Cheeseburger
This is literally the best burger place EVER. I dont frequent it because its just to far away and I don't usually crave burgers. But a beer and burger sound good right now.

5) Patton Alley's Chicken Quesadilla
I would be willing to sub steak if someone else would pay for it.


Even if they DID have delivery for any of these place at 5am on a Sunday morning, I dont have two quarters to even rub together.

But tonight! The beer and quesadillas will be flowing like water!

too much stuff.

So I have been thinking the past few days about a few things.

The first is my collection of junk that keeps growing. Lately, I have been looking around my room (its SUPER small) and been so overwhelmed with all the stuff I have. I want to just ditch it all, but I know once I start selling/giving it away, my room will be bare and I will just fill it up with more stuff.

Something has to happen though. I have way to much stuff.

Actually, compared to most people, according to my roommates, I dont. It takes me only a day to pack up all my stuff, move, and unpack. Not really that bad.

I was just in the kitchen though looking at my 10 different kinds of tea and 50 mugs. Then all the dishes and applicances we have (and the ones I still WANT... pasta maker, bread maker, toaster oven, kitchen aid...) and i was almost disgusted.
then I walked into my room and look at my bookcase full of books I have barely opened. And I dont know. I was a little sad. I feel like I have consumed so much for so long, it has kind of destroyed me, ya know?

I want to get lots of cool stuff, but I can definitly feel in my gut, there is a void I am trying to fill. Maybe if I get lots of cool stuff, no one will notice I havent done anything with my degree. Or all those dreams I had have kind of been forgotten and tossed... (Peace Corps, major volunteer work, world peace maker... MOVING OUT OF SPRINGFIELD)

But when it all comes down to it, I dont know what I want to do. I havent found anything I am incredibly passionate about. It actually kind of scares me.

Anyway.

I am also getting tired of sharing space with roommates. Its not my style. I have no room. For God's sake. I am still sleeping in a twin bed. I have no place to spread out my sewing stuff. I took over the dining room/3rd living room and it bugs my roomies to death. But everytime they move my stuff or ask me about it, i feel like saying "I LIVE IN A HALLWAY! I have the smallest, most unprivate, shared bedroom in the house! Do you see a place to keep my sewing stuff anywhere in my room? Do you see a place to put my TV?!" Honestly. They could stand to give up one of their rooms. I could put my TV, desk, bookcase, QUEEN bed, and sewing stuff in there!

I just cant wait to have my OWN space. The dishes in the sink will be mine and no one will be pointing fingers about who should wash them.
I cant wait for a huge bed and a bedroom that doesnt have to hold all my belongings. I cant wait to spread out and breathe easier.

Sorry. Im just tired. I am almost 24, and I am still sharing space with people.

Once I get out of debt next year, I think I need to move on.

hedgehogs and homemade dinners gone WRONG

So i finally got a picture from the breeder in Kansas about my new, soon-to-be-mine hedgehog...





I just cant seem to find a name. I loved the name Sal a lot, but no one I know likes it except my sister. Its not that i need to find a name that others like, but i need to find a name, people will think, "oh... yeah... it DOES work really well for him!"





what do you think he looks like?



It was Kyle and I's 6 month anniversary. I havent ever dated anyone that long. It wasnt really about celebrating 6 months, but more about celebrating the fact that I loved him, and I was finally in a relationship where I honestly cared about someone and it wasnt a horribly inbalanced give and take like it has been with every guy before. Somehow, i dont think I was able to express that. But now I step back and look at the words thats exactly how I feel.


ANYWAY!

I HOMEMADE the WHOLE dinner. I made noodles, sauce, meatballs, and bread. THE WHOLE DINNER. Five hours. I came home after work and grocery shopping, started the sauce in the crockpot. I had a recipe and added a bit of extra onion and garlic to it. So then, I started the meatballs. I didnt have a recipe, so i basically took turkey meat, and turkey italian sausage and mixed italian spices in it balled it up cooked it in olive oil. After that I made the bread. While the bread rose and baked, I whipped up the noodles, rolled and cut them out. It was about 8, and I called Kyle and enlisted him to cut noodles. He did and we finally sat down and ate at 9pm.
whatever. time wise it didnt work, but the meal was awesome, right?


WRONG.


it was so increidbly mediocre it was almost gross. i didnt finish mine, but kyle was sweet enough to pretend to love it and eat my plate i barely touched.
he didnt try fighting me on throwing away the leftover sauce, bread and meatballs.

Concerning the sauce... i will ALWAYS choose the low and long setting on a crockpot over the high and short setting. Lesson learned. Those extra onions I added didnt really cook enough. It was a CHUNKY sauce and even adding a whole can of Ragu barely made it saucey. I think if cooked longer, the onions and tomatos could liquify or get soft enough to barely notice the texture, and it be more about the flavor.


Bread-wise... this was good. But overall, it should have rose more? It wasnt super fluffy. More like a super dense, oversized breadstick. Good. But i just threw the other mini-loaf away because i knew it would be gross if it wasnt straight out of the oven. I think I may work on my bread recipes. They always scare me.


Meatballs... no recipe. At all. This was my problem. Maybe if mixed in a better sauce they'd be good, but just not with the sauce. They SMELLED good though while I cooked them.

noodles... the best part!!! i think they'd just be better in a different sauce or more importantly, IN CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP! I have about a serving and half left of noodles, so thats awesome! I get to eat something tasty and not waste them in onion tomato sauce like the first batch was in

but thats pretty much it. I am getting over my sickness. Feeling better... hopefully by next week, it will be in the past and I can start RUNNING again!!!


also I may be going to see Death Cab in concert!



<3

New Music for a Monday

So I went ahead and splurged on CDs.

I havent spent money on CDs for so long, even the guys at CD Warehouse commented. In fact they used the opportunity to try to sell me the Decemberist and the Deathcab lead singers' solo albums. I resisted.

Heres what i got:

Death Cab for Cutie's Plans
The Decemberists Her Majesty
Santogold's Santogold
New Young Pony Club's Fantastic Playroom

All are incredibly amazing.
I should have bought Plans a long time ago. Its almost shameful how this is the first time I listened to it.

I dont want to post to much on how I feel about music, because this will NOT turn into one of those music blogs where I feel my music is so much more superior than all others'! But I will say, Dance-Electronica is my favorite music and NYPC and Santogold fit in perfectly!

I guess Death Cab is touring around these parts, so I am going to go try to see them on April 12th. The day before Kyle's birthday. He didn't sound to excited, but I skipped Girl Talk for him last time! (After I bought the tickets!!!) If he asks me to skip a concert the day before his birthday just because he want to see me on BOTH days, I will be annoyed. I will probably say no.

Anyways. I thought I would just check in. I sort of redesigned. Its not where I want it, but its getting close.

Im gonna go nap hardcore.

germ-infested, on the clock ramblings.

ahhhhhg.



i am so sick right now! my head feels likes its going to implode from the pressure. its almost to much. my whole front side of the face is literally sore. bah. anyways.



i just bought kyle a fifty dollar gift card to his favorite bar for 29 bucks. not too horrible. im sure he will like it for a night of rowdiness with the boys. although you have to use the WHOLE thing all at once, and it expires in august! using it wont be a problem. i am glad because i can give it to him for his birthday.

i paid all my bills today! it was exciting. my bank account is low though. paying my bills gives me a sense of empowerment a lot of the time. its like i work my ass off six days a week and when i get that pay check it just feel so good to be able to pay my own bills. now if only i can start paying my insurance to my mom on time!!! i guess this feeling of empowerment leaves quickly after the bills are actually paid and the next two weeks are really horrible. oh well.

anyways. i have nothing to chat about. i am almost finished with a smock i have been working on. and i started knitting a beanie today while i watched old 70's videos on VH1. they werent really videos, just video of bands performing. boring, but enjoyable and great to knit too.

it was so beautiful today!!! i walked to msu to pay my left over bill, walked to kyle's house, rode my bike back, and of course sat on the porch and had a beer.

i think sunday night will be the official opener of porch-sittin, beer drinkin season. in this years line up, i am thinking about introducing music! then of course the dutch oven cookin's and corn on the cob later in the year! its gonna be awesome!

OMG. AND AMOIS MOVED BACK, HECK YEAH. (i was so excited i literally typed out the f-bomb, but decided against it.) anyways. this means porch sittin will involve the same amazing people! i feel bad for her and her sisters shattered art dreams, but come on! maybe she will return to work at panera and we can have good (i.e. horrible-guest filled) times again.

i cant wait for summer!!! everyone will be not busy and i can hang out with everyone during the week! camping trips, bike rides, porch sessions, sean's sunday night parties, cookouts! its gonna be the shit!

speaking of cookouts, kyle wants a cookout for his birthday, with dutch oven cobbler, so i best be planning that. i was thinking about giving him a keg for his birthday present and he can have all his friends over. but i dont know how we will do that. the whole chance of minors coming makes me incredibly nervous, seeing as how we live on one the heaviest police patroled intersections...

alright. im gonna go smash my head against a wall. its gotta feel better than this. although typing about summer plans helped a lot.

Upcoming, exciting events!

Well I am at work, once again. Today I am trying to pull a 14 hour day, in order to make just a little extra money.

There is some big stuff coming up around the corner!

There is a spring break trip kyle (my boyfriend) and i are taking. My roommates are headed to Austin, Texas to checl out the music scene and the beach. Kyle and I definitely have the travel bug too, I think because we have talked about travelling to india for awhile now and started saving. Since we can't really afford the trip to Texas, we figure we will hit the bike trails.

We are thinking arrive and bike monday through the first part of the week, then head home thursday. All in all i am quite nervous. We want to camp along the trail to save money, but carrying almost 3 days worth of food, plus tent and sleeping bag is scary! The details have to be worked out. I am sure we will just splurge and grab a hotel or bed and breakfast one of those nights.


Also! Pogstar Hedgehog breeders emailed me back. It sounds like I will have a hedgehog in the next coming months. She said there was one waiting right now for adoption and a two week old litter. We will see what colors come out of it. I would love a darker colored hedgie.



Anyways. I should be getting back to the Katy trail plan for break....

Introductions

Well! I thought I'd start this blog over. I don't know how much I plan to write exactly. I have a few half billion blogs out there in the internets that begin with a post like this and die a week later.

I am using this more to follow people. The crafty crowd has got me inspired, and I must say, with extra time on my hands with an overnight job sitting at a desk, I have been able to get ideas and accomplish them.

Anyways.

For those who I am following, let me introduce myself...

My name is Michelle, and I am from the midwest. I like a lot of stuff, particularly coffee, karaoke, reality tv, the night life, and camping whenever possible.

Well, I will be creepin round your pages!


<3