Saturday, March 14, 2009

too much stuff.

So I have been thinking the past few days about a few things.

The first is my collection of junk that keeps growing. Lately, I have been looking around my room (its SUPER small) and been so overwhelmed with all the stuff I have. I want to just ditch it all, but I know once I start selling/giving it away, my room will be bare and I will just fill it up with more stuff.

Something has to happen though. I have way to much stuff.

Actually, compared to most people, according to my roommates, I dont. It takes me only a day to pack up all my stuff, move, and unpack. Not really that bad.

I was just in the kitchen though looking at my 10 different kinds of tea and 50 mugs. Then all the dishes and applicances we have (and the ones I still WANT... pasta maker, bread maker, toaster oven, kitchen aid...) and i was almost disgusted.
then I walked into my room and look at my bookcase full of books I have barely opened. And I dont know. I was a little sad. I feel like I have consumed so much for so long, it has kind of destroyed me, ya know?

I want to get lots of cool stuff, but I can definitly feel in my gut, there is a void I am trying to fill. Maybe if I get lots of cool stuff, no one will notice I havent done anything with my degree. Or all those dreams I had have kind of been forgotten and tossed... (Peace Corps, major volunteer work, world peace maker... MOVING OUT OF SPRINGFIELD)

But when it all comes down to it, I dont know what I want to do. I havent found anything I am incredibly passionate about. It actually kind of scares me.


I am also getting tired of sharing space with roommates. Its not my style. I have no room. For God's sake. I am still sleeping in a twin bed. I have no place to spread out my sewing stuff. I took over the dining room/3rd living room and it bugs my roomies to death. But everytime they move my stuff or ask me about it, i feel like saying "I LIVE IN A HALLWAY! I have the smallest, most unprivate, shared bedroom in the house! Do you see a place to keep my sewing stuff anywhere in my room? Do you see a place to put my TV?!" Honestly. They could stand to give up one of their rooms. I could put my TV, desk, bookcase, QUEEN bed, and sewing stuff in there!

I just cant wait to have my OWN space. The dishes in the sink will be mine and no one will be pointing fingers about who should wash them.
I cant wait for a huge bed and a bedroom that doesnt have to hold all my belongings. I cant wait to spread out and breathe easier.

Sorry. Im just tired. I am almost 24, and I am still sharing space with people.

Once I get out of debt next year, I think I need to move on.

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